Snap Crackle Pop: Teen Titans Spoof
by hazel-220
Summary: Just a bunch of funny jokes and parody featuring our very own Titans. You'll laugh. You'll cry. You'll snort chocolate milk out your nose. Chapter 1 is up. Beast Boy meets Dora the Explorer!


A/N: Hello everyone and welcome to the first chapter of my brand new series of funny and random moments between your one and only…Teen Titans. Each chapter will be centered on one specific character. Now, I'm a big fan of the Teen Titans so I'm not making fun of them or anything like that just for my own personal amusement so don't take it the wrong way. After I've written the fifth chapter I will gladly accept any requests or ideas but they got to be funny…and appropriate. I will NOT write anything above a T rating ok? Good. So please sit back, relax, and try not to loose your spleen. I will not be responsible for any lost internal organs. Thank you for your cooperation.

**WARNING:** IF YOU HAVE NO SENSE OF HUMOR I SUGGEST THAT YOU DO NOT CONTINUE BEYOND THIS POINT.

**Chapter 1:** Beast Boy the Explorer

* * *

Robin was on his way to the common room when all of a sudden he heard a yell. Thinking that someone had broken into the tower he quickened his pace and ran through the doors. He wasn't prepared for what he was witnessing before his eyes. Beast Boy was in a fetal position on the floor. His eyes were wide and moist and from what Robin could barely make out, there were a couple of bald spots on his scalp.

"Beast Boy what happened?" Robin hurried over and kneeled down next to Beast Boy. He had tried to help him up but every time he would so much as touch his arm Beast Boy would scream and slap his hand away.

"No! Leave me be! She can't find me here and I'm not about to take another minute of it!" Beast Boy cried hysterically.

"Settle down. Who are you talking about?" Robin was trying very hard to keep his voice calm and steady but right now, his distressed friend was starting to freak him out. Maybe someone did break into the tower and ended up traumatizing poor Beast Boy. Or maybe…it might have been something that he had been watching. A horror movie? Oh no not again. As he tilted his head up to see what was currently playing on the television he didn't see anything that looked like a horror movie, all he saw was a little black haired girl and what appeared to be a monkey. Many questions started to form in Robin's head at that point. For one, why was Beast Boy watching the preschool channel? What exactly was he watching? Where was the remote? Who had devoured all of the snacks? And why did that girl have a pet monkey…that was wearing red boots?

"_Hi I'm Dora. And I'm Boots!"_

"Ok then. I guess that answers one of my questions." Robin muttered out loud then turned his attention back to his cowering friend.

"Beast Boy what are you watching? And who is this Dor-"

"NO! DON'T SAY HER NAME!" Beast Boy screeched, causing Robin to wince painfully at the high-pitched noise.

'_I think I might've found out about the thing that's been scaring him.'_ Robin thought as he rubbed his sore ears.

"Is this what you're so worked up about?"

"She's evil man! Stay away from her and her little devil monkey!" Ok now he was really confused now. Robin was considering calling the mental hospital when he felt something tug him downwards. Robin landed on the floor with a loud _oomph _and ended up right next to where his crazed friend was sitting. Beast Boy held his pointer finger to his lips before slowly glancing over the edge of the couch then quickly ducking back down again.

"What the hell Beast Boy!" Robin growled at him. Beast Boy shushed him again and pulled out his communicator.

"Calling all Titans! This is an emergen-"

_Snap._

"Will you stop it! Tell me what is going on or I swear I will tie you up in a straitjacket right here, right now!" This fiasco needed to end now.

Beast Boy's pointy ears drooped down, almost as if he was trying to hive Robin the puppy dog look. Taking a deep breath, he looked his leader in the seriously in the eyes…er mask, and started his story.

_Flashback_

It was about time for the action movie marathon to start. Grabbing all of the available junk food in the kitchen, he took his seat on the soft cushion of the couch and propped his feet up on the coffee table.

"This is gonna be great! I've waited all freakin' month for this!" Beast Boy exclaimed happily and started to dial the channel number on the remote.

"1…6…and…4." Unbeknownst to him, his thumb had slipped and dialed the number just below four. Setting the remote right beside him on the couch, he placed one of his hands lazily behind his head and used the other to grab a huge fistful of popcorn.

"It's new, it's hip, and it's wickedly fun. The Bounce-A-Roo will make you look cooler in front of your friends and everyone on the block. You'll be able to jump extra high and extra far!"

"Pfft! Bisg deal…I can jumf farsher…and hisher than…that." Beast boy replied nonchalantly between mouthfuls of popcorn, potato chips, and cheese curls. Using the sleeve of his uniform to wipe off the excess food from his mouth, he reached over to grab a jumbo-sized cup of root beer. Just as he started chugging down large quantities of the soft drink, he communicator started to vibrate in his back pocket. (A/N: Yeahhh, I don't know if he even has pockets but we'll just pretend he does.) He set his almost empty cup down and leaned over to retrieve his phone. The sudden movement caused the small remote to sink between the cushions unnoticed.

"Sup?"

"We now return to our program on Kids4Life."

"I swear dude, I have no idea what you're talking about. Noo, I have nothing to do with the pink hair dye in your shampoo." He was trying so hard not to laugh and play innocent at the same time.

"Dora! Boots! C'mon Dora!"

Beast Boy had stopped talking to Speedy and looked at the TV with a confused expression on his face.

"What the?"

"Dora Dora Dora the explorer!"

"This isn't the action movie marathon."

"Beast Boy I know it was you. I mean, who else would decide to play such a stupid and childish prank on me. And seriously? _Pink_!" Speedy was beyond furious with him but his rant went unheard by the green changeling as he set his communicator aside for a brief moment to look for the remote, but after ten seconds of searching he concluded that it had dropped off the face of the planet.

"Man, I'm going to miss the marathon." Beast Boy started to think of all the possible places that a small rectangular device could be.

"Of all the times to go on a vacation." He grumbled after drawing a complete blank. He eyed his communicator and in a desperate attempt asked, "Speedy do you have my remote?"

"What? Of course not! How on earth could I have your remote if you're two hours away!"

"Well, you could have teleported here like Raven can." Beast Boy said in his defense.

"I can't teleport! I don't even have _powers!_" Speedy emphasized the last part to get his point across.

"Uh…maybe you have ninja skills?" He tried sheepishly.

"I DON'T HAVE NINJA SKILLS BEAST BOY! I JUST HAVE A BOW AND ARROWS!" Speedy shouted over the phone, his anger and annoyance finally reaching its peak.

"Ugh, you're no help." And with that, he hung up on the archer.

"Garden, river, forest. Say it with me."

"Well, I guess I'm stuck watching this then." Beast Boy sulked and slouched deep into the cushions.

"Garden, river, forest. Garden, river, forest. Garden, river, forest. Gar-"

"Ok I get it! Jeez OCD much?" He grumbled then smiled when she had stopped repeating the same fraise.

"Let's go. Vamonos!

"Vama-what? What the heck does that mean? Wait, is she trying to say vermin? Hey! I am _not _a vermin! At least…not now anyway." Beast Boy watched as the dark haired girl and her purple pet monkey…in red boots, started to dance and sing as they walked down the hill. The song started to get on his nerves when she started to repeat again. His hands flew to his ears in an attempt to block out the noise.

"Ugh, this is worse than eating meat!"

A few seconds later, the song was over and Beast Boy happily removed his hands from his ears.

"Uh oh I hear Swiper."

'_Who's Swiper?' _Beast Boy thought before he saw a fox pop out from the corner of the screen.

"That dude looks bad. He's got a mask and everything." He noted out loud.

"Do you see Swiper?"

"Really you can't see him from ten feet away? He's right in front of you!" Beast Boy practically screamed. This girl had a serious problem.

"Where is he?"

"Right in front of your face! Man she's gonna get mugged by that fox."

"Where?"

"OH MY GOSH DORA! USE YOUR EYES! YOUR EYES!" He was now on his feet and shouting at the TV. Beast Boy sighed before adding, "She's dead."

* * *

Well it turns out that the fox only wanted a blue bouncy ball from her so after tossing it somewhere, Dora…with the help of an aggrivated Beast Boy, managed to find her lost item.

"Stupid Dora." Beast Boy was pretty sure that he was going to end up with an ulcer after all of this. She kept talking in some weird language that most of the time sounded like she was insulting him.

"_Ohh ohh! We should find the garden." _Boots suggested to his friend.

"Don't you _**dare **_get her started again!" The angry and exhausted teen pointed his finger accusingly at Boots who merely smiled back at him.

"_Do you know where the garden is?" _Dora asked Beast Boy innocently.

"Somebody kill me now."

* * *

"_We need something to get across the river." _Dora said in a matter-of-fact tone.

"Ugghhh. Not now Dora. You're giving me a headache." His voice was muffled behind his hands, trying his best to fight off a faint pain in the back of his skull.

"_Say backpack! Say Backpack!" _A very enthusiastic Boots demanded.

"NO! I AM NOT HELPING YOU TWO ANYMORE! Oww-" The pain felt like someone was stabbing his brain. This was way too much for a guy like himself to handle. It had only been fifteen minutes since the stupid show started. Man did he wish that he could find that remote.

"Backpack Backpack!"

Again with the singing. Beast Boy hit his head repeatedly against the coffee table, which didn't prove to be all that smart considering he felt another sharp pain in his head.

* * *

The tears were gushing down his face as he begged again and again for the little demon girl and her lacky to stop the torture.

"Uh oh. I hear Swiper again."

"NOOOOOO!" Beast Boy cried bloody murder as he once again saw the fox reappear on the TV.

"Do you know where Swiper is?"

"Yes Dora I do. BUT YOU WON'T LISTEN TO ME!"

"_Where is he?" _She pressed on.

"I'm not telling you. Let him steal your stupid bouncy ball again. I don't care!" The girl was seriously starting to piss him off. The fox inched a little closer until he was yet again right in front of her nose.

"Where?"

"I'm still not telling you." Beast Boy crossed his arms defiantly and shook his head.

Silence.

"Where?"

That was it. "Right in front of you! There you see-" He threw himself upp off the couch and stormed over to the TV screen where he began to brutally poke at poor Swiper.

"There! There! There! There! THERE!"

Again silence.

"_Swiper!" _Dora replied shockingly, as if she didn't hear Beast Boy at all.

There was a thud as the green changeling's body hit the floor. He was too tired and sore to walk back to the couch.

"Trigon is nothing compared to these two little instigators."

* * *

"_We did it! We made it to the forest." _The two cheered.

"Yay." Beast Boy said 'enthusiastically' from his spot on the floor.

"_So what was your favorite part?" _Dora asked Beast Boy. They waited anxiously for his reply, their eyes locked on his still body like a vulture hungrily eyeing a dead carcass.

"My favorite part-" He finally gave in, "-was when you two FINALLY got to wherever the hell you were going and stopped with all the damn repeating questions!"

Silence.

Thinking that she was finally done talking, he grinned the biggest grin he could and removed a large amount of sweat from his forehead.

"_Yeah me too." _The girl replied happily.

Beast Boy arched an eyebrow at the naïve girl then added slowly, "Well then I'm glad we're on the same page."

Picking himself up off the floor he stretched until he heard his joints pop and gave a satisfied look at the TV.

"So are you done talking then?"

He shouldn't have asked. After Boots had explain his favorite part of the hellish journey, Beast Boy noticed a small group of bugs with tiny instruments appear out of the blue.

"Aww how cute. A bug mariachi band. Are you gonna play me a song?"

As if on cue, the music started to play and the singing started up again. Beast Boy didn't move, didn't blink, didn't breathe. He just stood there and stared blankly at the screen. Something inside of him snapped, he could hear it. Like the sound a rubber band makes when it comes in contact with your skin. Beast Boy began to twitch and his blank expression turned into a crazy one. In an instant, his hands flew to his head and with one huge tug, he had removed two gigantic clumps of hair from his scalp.

"YyyyeeeeeAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"

Beast Boy couldn't take it anymore. He flung himself behind the couch and curled himself into a ball.

"HAHAHA! You'll never annoy me if you can't find me! Suckers!"

_End Flashback_

"So you're telling me that you were tortured by a young girl and a monkey from a kids show for the past thirty minutes?" Robin concluded as he pieced all of the information together.

"Yes! They're evil I tell you. _Evil!_"

Ok honestly, he wasn't sure what to say or how to react. It took him a couple of minutes to find his voice again.

"Did you think about walking up to the TV and changing the channel?"

His teammate slowly turned his head around to face him. The insane look that he gave him sent chills up his spine, be he wasn't going to admit it outloud. Still, was his neck supposed to turn like that?

"Are. You. Crazy!"

"Uh, no?"

"Why would I ever do that?"

The eyes behind Robin's mask narrowed. Was he serious? Beast Boy could fight crime, run, hop, gallop, fly, and heck, he could even fling poop at someone if he wanted to. Actually that did happen once at a New Years Eve party and boy was Bumblebee mad about it and-ugh! C'mon man focus. Suddenly an idea hit him. He got off the floor, despite the loud protests from his teammate, walked around the sofa and stuck his hand in between the middle cushions. A set of eyes appeared over the head of the couch and watched his leader with caution and curiosity.

"Dude, what are you-"

The remote! The green teen looked at Robin in astonishment. With a click of a button, the TV switched over to the action movie marathon.

"Dude! Robin you are my hero!" Before he could react, Robin was enveloped in a bear hug. A real bear hug.

"Beast Boy. Put me down."

"Oops hehe, sorry." He smiled sheepishly before letting go.

"So," Robin started, "Did you want to watch the marathon or what?"

"Oh uh well…I think I've watched enough TV for the entire month. Or year. So I think I'll just-" He quickly morphed into a cheetah and sped out of there as fast as his legs could take him.

"Um, ok then." Robin glanced at the remote in his hand then back at the television. After a moment of thinking it over, he plopped himself onto the couch and flipped back to the preschool channel.

"I wonder how bad this show actually is."

Thirty minutes later…

Raven and Starfire were talking to eachother when they had walked into the room. It was then when they both shrieked at what they say before them. Robin was rocking back and forth with his thumb in his mouth, crying and muttering something about two evil creatures. The girls looked at one another quizzically then asked simultaneously, "Robin?"

* * *

**A/N: **Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter 'cause I sure did. Let me know what ya thought of it :) but no flames!


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